“Knock Three Times
On The Fortress Door”
(Immediate sequel to “A Superman’s Work is Never
Done”)
Superman headed North having been told by Lois that she
wanted him to leave … WITH the garbage … to give her a chance to cool off a bit.
In a few minutes he was lifting the gigantic key that was disguised as an aerial
guidance marker. He put it in the immense door made of impenetrable alien metals
and unlocked the mechanisms hidden within it. He returned the key to its proper
place then entered his home away from home – his Fortress of Solitude. His keen
sense of smell made him immediately aware that someone had been cooking in his
kitchen … and his bedroom. He headed for his bedroom door and a blur of pink,
red and blue headed towards him and came to a sudden stop inches away. It was
his youngest grand-daughter who called herself Karel instead of the name Carol
that she was christened with. Her chosen name combined Kara and El as a tribute
to her heritage. On her 15th birthday, she took her new name and insisted that
everyone call her by it – even though it was pronounced the same way. She would
get mad if she though someone was thinking “Carol” when they said “Karel.” But
now Karel was blushing and so was Superman.
Karel said, “Hi, Grampa
Kent. How are you today? What are you doing here?” Karel
wasn’t a match for Clark except in one area – she could talk faster than an
auctioneer on speed. Without waiting for Clark’s answer, she pouted her
lip and said with a sad face, “You really should knock on the door to the
Fortress before entering ... at least three times because the door is thick and
the place is REAL big ... and you could scare someone who is in the middle of
... aaah ... distracted by something and not notice ... I might have
mistaken you for an intruder and .... You’re not mad at me are you? I’ve
never seen your face so red. You aren’t going to spank me, are
you?”
Clark said, “I REALLY wish you wouldn’t wear a costume with such a
plunging back on it!”
Karel said, “You are such a prudish old man! I’ve
been old enough to choose how I dress for eons now and my clothes aren’t
anywhere as revealing as the kids I hang with.”
Clark said, “Maybe it’s
less revealing … when you don’t put it on backwards. ... And don’t you usually
wear a bra?”
Karel screamed and in a blur of speed redressed herself. A
young man wearing only boxer shorts came stumbling out of Clark’s bedroom and
said, “Karel, Honey, is anything the matter?”
Clark asked Karel, “Who is
this?”
Karel said, “He’s just a friend, Gramps. I invited him over to see
your zoo. He’s really big on … oops.” The young man laughed. “… he’s really a
huge … oh no … he’s … he likes biology a lot.”
Clark asked, “Does your
friend have a name?”
Karel says, “I don’t know his secret identity, but
he goes by the name of … Elongated Man.”
Clark said, “Oh. Do say? And
what is his power?” Karel blushed an even a brighter shade of red and the
Elongated Man laughed even harder. Clark tilted his head down and glanced
through the young man’s boxers. Clark said, “Quite impressive.”
The
Elongated Man said, “You ain’t seen nothing, SuperDude! It’s quite cold up here
and we had barely started when you showed up.”
Karel started crying and
shouted, “GRAMPA, please, PLEASE don’t tell Mom!”
What’s a grandfather to
do? Even a Superman has the same problems a normal man might.
The
End.