We Have Met the Aliens and They Are Us

In Utah, Vera B. Best handed her husband Juan O. Juan Best a piece of dry, cracked wheat bread. “What is this?” he asked. “Breakfast,” she replied, “time to begin eating more sensibly.” “To heck with that! Breakfast has always been and will always be Wheaties or Corn Cheks,” Juan answered as he got a bowl out of the cupboard. “Well, I tried. Eventually what you eat will effect how you look and feel,” replied Vera as she munched on the piece of toast and started getting breakfast ready for the kids.

In Kansas, a typical farm family sits down to breakfast.
Clark: Mom, could I … *aaaa-choo*!” Whoa, that felt funny! Never sneezed before! *aaaa-chooo*
[Martha feels Clark’s forehead and turns to Jon.]
Martha: He seems normal, what should we do?
Jon: Clark, go outside, you’re blowing stuff around in here. And try covering your mouth.
[Clark goes outside and has a real sneezing fit. Jon comes out and hands him the key.]
Jon: This doesn’t look like it’s going to pass. Better go see your biological father and see if he has any advice.

Clark quickly goes to the cave and inserts the key into the cave wall. Jor-El appears. Clark explains the problem. Jor-El tells him what he must do.

Jor-El: Go to where the key directs you. It will lead you to a series of stones with octagonal recesses such as the one that once existed in this cave. At each location, place the key in the recess, then remove it and proceed to the next. Travel as fast as you can for this is a journey involving thousands of miles of travel. Travel cross country through the fields to keep from being seen. The fits will pass once your journey is complete.

Clark stopped home to explain what he was told to Jon and Martha and then began his journey. Clark crossed and re-crossed the central United States. He sneezed and cursed as he went. The path the key took him made no sense. Had he known where the stones were in advance, he could have completed the trip in a fraction of the time. Absentmindedly, he went racing for the next stone and almost didn’t see a young, blond woman up ahead. He stopped and watched her from a distance because he didn’t want to be questioned about what he was doing there. It may be her property he was on. The woman kneeled and placed an octagonal object on the stone he was headed for. She stood up to leave. Clark sneezed. She turned startled, and then ran off. He heard her sneezing as he ran after her but he couldn’t catch up. His key was urging him back on course, so after a couple hundred miles, he turned back. After a couple days, Clark was led by the key back to the cave, where a light bathed Clark and the sneezing stopped. He returned home to his worried parents and after a short conversation took a shower and went to bed.

In the month that followed, the crops across the heartland grew like never before. It was a record growing season. Crops went to market, were processed and reached the store shelves. At the super market, Juan Best picked up his favorite cereals that Vera Best refused to buy for him anymore. Months passed. News reports became increasingly positive. People were feeling better physically and their mental attitudes and aptitudes seemed to improve as well.

In Utah, Juan O. Juan Best made himself breakfast. As he reached for his bowl, Vera was checking him out. She reached out and grabbed his butt.

Juan: Hey! What was that!
Vera: Been working out?
Juan: No, why?
Vera: You’re looking really good these days. You know [singing] “you used to look good to me, but now you’re … simply irresistible.”
Juan: You’re looking pretty good yourself, lady. Care to dance?

The Bests danced in the kitchen as if they were floating on air.

The End

Comments:

Anyone needing a clue, let me just say DNA -- indestructible, super DNA.

Clark and the mystery woman were genetically engineered to recreate the Kryptonian race by spreading DNA that would combine with the DNA of humans through their food supply. Jor-El made Clark go through the fields of the "breadbasket of America" spreading his DNA on crops. His DNA was invulnerable to the processing that food goes through to protect us.

I was thinking later about the consequences of everyone on Earth becoming super-powered. Clark would be pretty ordinary.

This fiction was a rush job to get some quick cash. Don't let anybody tell you than product placements aren't lucrative. Jackson is making a killing with Keblers and as soon asd he names a brand as the supplier for his German beer, he can retire.

A thank you to General Mills for the deposit to my bank account. Here's looking ach-choo.