His Day in Court [shortly after the events of “Exile”]


Clark sat nervously in the court room.  He looked as guilty as anyone possibly could look.  He couldn’t make and hold eye contact with anyone.  Lex hired the best defense attorney he could afford for his friend – and Lex could afford ANY lawyer.  But his lawyer, Johnny Kokran, was up against Clark’s guilty conscious.  Anyone judging the case based on Clark’s demeanor in court would find him guilty beyond doubt.  Though innocent of the charges at hand, Clark knew he was guilty … of robbery, of destruction of public and private property and of breaking his Mother’s heart – not to mention the heart of a certain raven-haired beauty and a perky blonde.


The Sheriff had testified to Clark’s un-explained appearance at every crime scene in Smallville and about his running away from home.  Johnny mentioned on the record that the Sheriff’s deputies were always at the scene too – just being there didn’t mean that Clark committed the crimes.


A woman came to the stand to identify Clark as the man who committed the crime and identify Jonathan’s truck as the one that Clark was driving.  She testified that she had seen it all from the adjoining parking lot of the What?Mart.  He had turned and looked directly at her.  She said she remembered looking at him and thinking that all he would have to do was smile at her and she would leave her husband in a heartbeat.  Johnny asked the woman how positive she was that the man she saw was Clark.  He instructed Clark to look her in the eye but to not smile because he didn’t want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage – unless he was hired to handle the divorce.  The woman sighed deeply and verified that it was indeed Clark she had seen and that she would gladly keep him prisoner in her home if the jails were too overcrowded at the moment.  The Judge told her that that wouldn’t be necessary.  Johnny reminded the woman of the seriousness of her accusation and the impact it could have on this young man’s life.  She took another long look and said with great self-.assurance that the man at the defense table was the thief.  Johnny said, “Are you sure it wasn’t someone else in the court room that you saw that day?”  He turned around and pointed into the crowd of people seated in the court room.  He said, “That man for instance.  Would you mind standing up, Sir?”  Tom Welling stood up.  Johnny had picked the male model after an exhaustive search of modeling agencies by one of his law clerks.  The clerk had been instructed to find a look alike for Clark and hire him to appear in court the day of the trial.  The woman testifying was started and confused and it showed.  Johnny said, “It is well-known that eye-witness testimony is the least reliable form of evidence that there is.  I believe reasonable doubt has been established here.  I have no further questions for the witness your honor.”  The woman scurried out into the court room and found a seat near Mr. Welling.


After Johnny returned to the defense table Clark turned to him and whispered, “Did you learn that move from “A Tale of Two Cities?””


Johnny replied in hushed tones, “No, son, I don’t take legal advice from women I employ for social activities.”


Now came the prosecution’s key witness.  The cashier described how she handed the merchandise to the thief through the drive through window and he had gunned the engine of the truck and disappeared without paying.  During cross-examination, Johnny asked where the thief had put the merchandise.  She said that he placed it on the passenger seat.  Johnny asked if he had ordered a drink as well.  She replied that he had.  Johnny asked how could he have driven off so quickly with a drink in his hand?  She testified that he had put it in the cup holder in his truck.  When asked to identify the drink size ordered, she testified that the drink was a 64 ounce “Thirst Annihilator.”   She was asked to identify a cup as the same size cup as the thief had ordered and taken when he fled.  She did so and he had the cup entered the cup into evidence.  Johnny explained to the court that he had purchased a “Thirst Annihilator” from the same store that had been robbed.  He stated that the fact that he consumed the beverage himself accounted for his many absences from the court room that morning.  He pointed out the store’s name as well as the words “Thirst Annihilator” on the cup.  Johnny then produced the cup holder from the same make and model as Jonathan’s truck – the one identified by the witnesses.  He asked the witness to try putting the cup into the cup holder as she had testified that Clark had done.  She tried and tried.  After a while, Johnny asked what the problem was.  She said, “It doesn’t fit!  But I know the man who stole the food put the drink in his cup holder!”


Johnny turned to the Judge and said, “If the cup doesn’t fit, you must acquit!”


The Judge asked if the prosecutor had any additional evidence.  He didn’t.  The Judge dismissed the charges.  A happy Clark left the courtroom with his family and friends … well, it was either him or that Welling fellow … I think.



The End