Candyce saw the masseuse leave so she knew that her “guest” would want her dinner soon.  She loaded a tray with turkey (sliced white meat), one turkey leg, mashed potatoes with extra butter, chestnut dressing, gravy (on the side in a gravy boat), corn, cranberry sauce, a large slice of pumpkin pie buried under a mound of freshly whipped cream and a chilled glass of Diet Pepsi (no ice).  She put a fresh cut rose in a vase and an after dinner mint on the food tray.  She inspected her silver to make sure that it wasn’t tarnished and placed the shiniest silverware on a linen napkin next to the fine china plate.  She stuck a bottle of red wine under her arm, lifted the tray and carefully made her way down the basement stairs.


At the base of the stairs, she sat everything down on a serving cart and pushed it down the hallway to the vault door.  After a retina scan and palm print were taken, the one foot think door swung open allowing her to proceed down the hallway.  A bulletproof glass panel opened to allow her into an alcove where she could look through the bars of the spacious studio apartment/cell.  She looked to make sure that the maid had wiped down all of the gym equipment and put fresh towels by the hot tub.  Her guest followed a strict routine:  mild exercise, some time in the hot tub while listening to classical music, a vigorous massage from an ex-Mr.Universe, a few minutes with the daily paper, and then some time in front of the wide screen plasma TV before having dinner and spending some quality time on the internet.


Candyce saw her in her vibrating reclining chair where she always waited for dinner.  She was eating bon-bons and watching the new Batman movie 10 months before its release date.


Candyce opened an automatic panel and slid the cart inside.  When the panel shut on her side, a second panel opened inside the cell and the cart was pushed out by a robotic arm.  Candyce’s guest’s head snapped around when she heard the panel moving.  The woman ran to the bars and gripped them as she slid to her knees.  She begged, “Please, Candyce, PLEASE!  We were best of friends once before our careers got in the way.  For pity’s sake and out of respect for the friendship that we once had, don’t continue to make me live here deprived of the only thing that gave my life meaning!”


Candyce thought about it for a while, then she wrote a number down on a piece of paper and handed it through the bars and into the eager hands of the woman inside.  She said sternly, “I am feeling generous today so I will let you go in and edit the boards for TWO HOURS!  After that time, I will lock you out of the system and change the password.  But you must remember these rules:  One.  You have to make edits using MY name.  Two.  No matter what she does, don’t suspend or banish the Duck!  She is mine.  DO YOU UNDERSTAND!”


The woman answered, “Thank you, THANK YOU!  I understand perfectly!  You can trust me.  I know what you can do if I disobey.”  Having said that, Caroline ignored her meal and ran to her computer and logged on to the WB Boards as WB Candyce.


The End




“The Silence of the Ducks”


Candyce stood looking through the bars at Caroline.  She said, “I am tired of your constant attempts to escape.”


Caroline said, “I will promise never to try to escape again, Clarisse, if you tell me something I want to know.”


Candyce answered, “My name is CANDYCE!  How many times do I have to tell you that?”


Caroline said, “As long as you keep calling me “Caroline the Wimp on Line,” I’ll keep calling you Clarisse.”


Candyce said, “Whatever.”


Caroline asked, “So Clarisse is it a deal?  Tell me the story I want to here and I will never try to escape again.”


Candyce said, “Sure.”


Caroline said, “Tell me about … the silence of … the DUCKS!”


Candyce said, “It’s not “ducks” it’s “DuckDuckGoose.””


Caroline said, “If there are two of them then it’s “DUCKS-Goose.”


Candyce said, “Whatever.”


Caroline said, “So, Clarisse, tell me.  TELL ME!”


Candyce said,  “After I banished Duck for good, I would wake up in the middle of the night and there would be 50 PMs from Pyro saying “Re-instate the Duck, RE-INSTATE THE DUCK NOW!!!”  Every morning there would be 50 more PMs from Pyro saying “Re-instate the Duck, RE-INSTATE THE DUCK NOW!!!”   By the end of the day, there would have been more than 500 more PMs from Pyro saying “Re-instate the Duck, RE-INSTATE THE DUCK NOW!!!”  I couldn’t stand it … I JUST COULDN’T STAND IT ANYMORE!”  Candyce began to cry softly.


Caroline asked, “Then what, Clarisse, then what did you do?”


Candyce said, “I re-instated her.  I re-instated her just so I wouldn’t hear her voice screaming in my brain “Re-instate the Duck, RE-INSTATE THE DUCK NOW!!!”   She’s back on the board now, but the PMs and the voices in my head have been silenced.”


Caroline said, “And you call ME “Wimp on Line!!!””


Candyce wiped her tears and blew her nose and said, “Now you know the story.  I did what I said I would do, so now you will never try to escape again.  Correct?”


Caroline said, “Not correct.  Of course I will try to escape.  I lied!”


The End