A Place For Him:  A Smallville Musical

 

 

Act One. "Meatloaf at Bedtime" Guest starring "Meatloaf" as Jor-El.

 

Despite knowing that it is not wise to eat Martha's meatloaf at bedtime, Jonathan eats a big chuck that Clark hadn’t finished off and curls up in bed. Soon he is asleep and approaching a large planet orbiting a red sun. He flies up to a large building and walks through the wall like a phantom. The Planetary Counsel is in emergency session to hear what Jor-El has to say.

 

Jor-El:

[To the tune "World on Fire"]

I don't want to see the world on fire.

I just want to light a fire under you.

In my heart I have but one desire.

My word is true.

I've told you what to do.

 

I've lost all ambition for worldly acclaim.

I just want to save the ones I love.

I'm just hoping you feel the same.

That is the goal I'm dreaming of.

 

Believe me!

I don't want to see the world on fire.

I just want to light a fire under you.

 

[Jor-El looks from face to face. Each council person shakes their head at what a shame it is that Jor-El has lost his senses. Jor-El gets frustrated and the frustration and desperation become anger.]

 

Jor-El:

[To the tune "Paradise By the Dashboard Light"]

I remember everything

As if it happened only yesterday.

Standing by the lake

And there was not another person in sight.

And I never saw a view

Looking better than that did.

But little did I know

That my entire world would change that night.

 

The way the water churned

Was such a fright.

The ground shook so hard,

It just wasn't right.

The water was glowing like the metal

On the edge of a knife.

C'mon, It's not right!

C'mon, we must fight!

 

It was cold and lonely in that deep, dark night

With the water glowing with a greenish light.

 

Ain't no doubt about it

We were doubly blessed.

But though our world is dying

You show no distress.

 

Ain't no doubt about it

I have to go and shout it.

Ain't no doubt about it

We're in a mess.

Cause this world is dying

And you're not distressed.

 

People don't you know my heart?

I love Krypton and don't want to go.

I've been waiting too long

For you to join me in the work to be done.

 

And I gotta let you know,

Listen or your gonna regret it.

Open up your eyes or you'll get a big surprise.

We'll be safe all right

Let us find shelter in the Phantom Zone.

 

Our bodies will be compact and light.

It won't feel bad -- I know I'm right.

Or we'll all be glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife.

C'mon, see the light.

C'mon! See the light!

 

Though it's cold and lonely in the Phantom Zone

I will let you out when I reach our new home.

 

You gotta do what you can

Or Mother Nature will put us all to rest!

Ain't no doubt about it --

We should all be stressed.

Cause we have barely time

To resolve this mess!

 

Krypton's gonna blow tonight.

The core will explode

And tonight's the night!

 

 

Media Announcer:

 

OK. Here we go, we got a real pressure cooker here.

Jor-El's really on the ball but nobody's buying it.

This is the end of the meeting -- Jor-El's making his pitch.

The councilman in the middle looks like he's listening.

Look at Jor-El go! He's saying that on Earth, we all could fly!

He may be convincing them. He's not letting up at all.

He's convincing a second one. He's telling them all he knows -- and WHAT he knows!

He's going to butt heads with them. Here he goes.

They're gonna throw him out -- No, he's safe! He's really making it happen out there.

He says he's got a ship for one, going to fly it to Earth, let us all out when he gets there.

Says we'll be strong. Holy Rao! We'll see through walls, run like the wind.

I think he's convincing them. They're going to give him the projector.

They're going to let him go. I think he's going to make it!

 

Council: Let us sleep on it.

 

Jor-El:

 

STOP RIGHT THERE!

I've gotta know RIGHT NOW.

Before the world shakes any further

Do you believe me?

Because we don't have forever.

Will you let me

Take the projector with me?

Will you let me save Krypton

From the pending strife?

Can I travel to Earth

To save every life?

Do you believe me?

Because we don't have forever.

Will you let me

Take the projector with me?

Will you let me save Krypton

From the pending strife?

Can I travel to Earth

To save every life?

I've gotta know right now

Before the world shakes any further

Do you believe me?

Because we don't have for-ev-er.

 

Council:

 

Let us sleep on it.

Jor-El, please, let us sleep on it.

Let us sleep on it

And we'll give you our answer

In the morning.

 

Let us sleep on it.

Jor-El, please, let us sleep on it.

Let us sleep on it

And we'll give you our answer

In the morning.

 

Let us sleep on it.

Jor-El, please, let us sleep on it.

Let us sleep on it

And we'll give you our answer

In the morning.

 

Jor-El:

 

I've gotta know right now.

Do you believe me?

Because we don't have forever.

Will you let me

Take the projector with me?

Will you let me save Krypton

From the pending strife?

Can I travel to Earth

To save every life?

I've gotta know right now

Before the world shakes any further,

Do you believe me?

Because we don't have forever.

 

 

Counsil:

 

Let us sleep on it.

Jor-El, please, let us sleep on it.

Let us sleep on it

And we'll give you our answer

In the morning.

Let us sleep on it!

LET US SLEEP ON IT!

 

Jor-El: Do you believe me?

 

Council: LET US SLEEP ON IT!

 

Jor-El: CAN I HAVE THE PROJECTOR?

 

 

Council:

 

We can't take this any longer!

Jor-El you are crazed.

The world will not end from a small tidal wave.

Do we have to swear on Rao to make you stop your rave?

Krypton will exist until the end of time.

Brainiac says we'll exist until the end of time.

 

 

Jor-El:

 

Well, now I guess this is the end of time.

It's just about to arrive.

If I spend another minute fighting with you

I don't think that even Kal will survive.

I'll never accept your decision --

That is my vow,

But Rao only knows what I can do right now.

Because Krypton's at the end of time.

I've done all that I can do.

I'm praying you will change your mind

Or I'll end up dying along with you!

 

[As Jor-El walks away]

 

My son will be long gone and he'll be far away.

He'll be better off than if he would stay.

He will be so good

And he'll do what's right [or he'll rule with might]

And he'll make planet Earth

Into a Paradise.

 

 

Act Two: “Lara Says Goodbye”

 

Having watched the holographic images of the Council meeting, Lara turns off the broadcast and begins to cry. Kal-El toddles into the room dragging his red and blue blankets behind him. He looks up at his mother with sad eyes. His mother’s tears upset him and the tears begin to bead up in his own eyes. She quickly dries her tears and says, “Kal, you are supposed to be asleep. I woke you didn’t I? I am so sorry. Mommy is just being silly. I was watching a FictionDrama. Everything will be OK. You have nothing to worry about. Come here and let your Mother hold you.” Kal comes over and lifts both arms towards his mother. “Up, up and away!” says Lara as she lifts him. He begins to drop off to sleep. She begins to sing him a lullaby:

 

“Hush little Kal-El

Don’t you cry.

Mama’s going to send you

To a place in the sky.

And when you’re under a yellow sun

You won’t believe

How fast you can run.

And when you and your new friends play,

You won’t hate the mother that sent you away.

Perhaps someday you’ll understand

That I did what I did for my little man.

Dying is easier than saying goodbye.

My love will still be with you

In your home in the sky."

 

 

 

Act Three:  “Departure”

 

Jor-El comes home and sees Lara holding Kal in her arms. He grabs Lara by the arm and takes her into the Lab and up to the spaceship.

 

Jor-El [to the tune “Somewhere”]:

 

There's a place for you,

On Earth, a place for you.

Peace and quiet and open air

Wait for you.

Smallville.

 

There's a time for you,

A new day and time for you,

Time together with time to spare,

Time to live, time to grow,

Smallville!

 

In Smallville,

You'll find a new way of living,

You'll find a way of forgetting

Somehow . . .

 

There's a place for you,

A time and place for you.

Kiss me once then I’ll send you there.

Let go now I must send you there

Right now,

It’s time,

Smallville!

[Lara pulls away and shakes her head “No.”]

 

Lara [to the tune “If Ever I Should Leave You”]:

If ever I could leave you

It wouldn’t be in this way.

I can’t let you die alone here.

I couldn’t be in sunlight

With Krypton gone in flames –

Not without your brilliance

That puts my mind to shame.

 

But if I’d ever leave you

It would have to be for Kal-El.

But how could I be his mother

While grieving over you?

You are more than half my heart and soul

Without you, my Love, I would lose control.

 

I ever I could leave you,

How could it be at this time?

I know I will die happy

Just being here with you.

Oh please don’t make me go

After all that we’ve been through.

 

Should Krypton stand or fall,

No, never could I leave you – at all!

 

 

Jor-El and Lara [The quakes begin. They sing as they morph the ship for a better fit for Kal and place him inside -- to the tune “Somewhere”]:

 

There's a place for him,

On Earth, a place for him.

Peace and quiet and open air

Wait for him.

Smallville.

 

There's a time for him,

A new world with a place for him,

Time to grow and become strong,

Time to run, time to fly,

Smallville!

 

In Smallville,

He'll learn a new way of living,

This life he’ll soon be forgetting

So soon . . .

 

There's a place for him,

On Earth, a place for him.

We’ll kiss him once then we’ll send him there.

Our love for him will find him there.

Somehow,

Someday,

In Smallville!

 

[The ship glows and then departs. The planet explodes, surrounding the ship with planetary debris.]

 

 

 

Act Four: “The Journey”

 

 

[The spaceship tries to communicate with Jor-El back on Krypton. Technical difficulties arise. Unexpected help.  Sung to “Major Tom.”]

 

 

Jor-El 3:

 

Jor-El 3 to Jor-El Prime.

Jor-El 3 to Jor-El Prime.

Baby is asleep and doing fine.

 

Jor-El 3 to Jor-El Prime.

Commencing Star Drive. The Warp Field’s Down!

Disruption below – Planet Debris all around!

 

Jor-El 2 [ship pulls along side of Jor-El 3 – a white puppy can be seen through portal]:

 

This is Jor-El 2 to Jor-El 3

You seem to need my help today.

My test failed last month but I think that I can help

To give your ship the needed boost if I may.

 

Jor-El 3:

 

This is Jor-El 3 to Jor-El 2

My payload is very dear

And I really need your help in every way

If we’re going to reach the star Sol this day.

 

For here

We are sitting in this tin can

And the world is gone.

Jor-El Prime is through

And there’s nothing I can do.

 

Thank you Jor-El 2 for what you did.

I see you fell behind.

I hope your cargo reaches Earth as well.

For the boy child will need some help to rule that hell!

 

Jor-El 2:

 

This is Jor-El 2 to Jor-El 3

Some damage has been done. There’s something wrong!

Earth’s no Hell, Jor-El 3!

You go to help them, Jor-El 3!

Can you hear me Jor-El 3?

Can you hear me Jor-El 3?

Can you ….

 

Jor-El 3:

 

Here I am sitting in my tin can

Passing by Earth’s moon

Kal-El’s my son now

He will rule with MIGHT – And HOW!

 

 

 

 

Act Five:  “Arrival”

 

[Meteors rain from the sky. A fairy princess runs outside from the flowers shop in time to see her parents hit by a meteor. The girl’s mouth drops open. Next to her stands the phantom of her grown up self, looking on. The phantom puts her hand on her former self’s shoulder and begins to sing.]

 

Lana’s Phantom [to the tune “Fire and Rain”]:

 

The sky opened up. In an instant my parents were gone.

I saw it with my own eyes, it’s the end of you.

Will I wake up tomorrow and find out that I’m wrong?

Is this just a nightmare or am I dead too?

 

I've seen fire and I've seen rain.

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.

But I always thought that I'd see Mom and Dad again.

 

Won't you look down upon me Jesus

You got to help me so I can stand

You just got to see me through another day

My body's shakin' and the grief is too much to stand

And I won't make it any other way

 

Oh I've seen fire and I've seen rain.

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.

But I always thought that I'd see Mom and Dad again.

 

Been walkin' my mind to an easy time.

My back turned towards the sun.

Lord knows when the cold wind blows

It'll turn your head around.

Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line

To talk about things to come.

Sweet dream of flying machine that is buried underground.

 

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.

But I always thought that I'd see you, Momma, one more time again now.

Thought I'd see you one more time again.

I’ll have to go and live with my Aunt Nell now.

Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you …

Fire and rain ….

 

[Across town, Lex wanders into a cornfield. Seeing a young man tied to a post, he runs as meteor come crashing down. The field is flattened. His hair comes out in clumps. He trembles for a while and then the trembling stops and a smirk comes to his face. Don’t have music for this one folks, so I put a few words together to fill in what I have in mind here. Lex sings.]

 

Lex [adult voice in Lex’s head]:

 

What a joke my life has been!

Afraid of death. Afraid to live.

Protect myself! Commit no sins!

Today fear died. My life begins.

Get in my way? I won’t forgive.

 

The sky is falling, yet I’m here.

I can not die unless it’s fate.

The biggest joke in life is fear.

What good is it? Is life so dear

When cowering behind a palace gate?

 

I won’t waste time being scared.

The fear was crushed with this field of corn.

I’ll accomplish things that no one has dared!

This world had better be prepared

Cause Lex Luthor has just been born!

 

 

[Elsewhere in Smallville, a truck swerves as an object crashes into a cornfield. The truck flips over. Jonathan looks out and sees Kal-El standing by the truck. After getting out of the truck, Martha tells Jonathan that they have to keep the boy. Jonathan sings to the tune “With Arms Wide Open” by Creed.]

 

Jonathan:

 

A boy entered our world today

It seems my life is going to change

I closed my eyes, begin to pray

Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open

Under the sunlight

Welcome to this place

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready

To be the man I have to be

I'll take a breath, take her by my side

We stand in awe of the life we’ll guide.

With arms wide open

Under the sunlight

Welcome to this place

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

Now everything has changed

I'll show you love

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

If I had just one wish

Only one demand

I hope he's not like me

I hope those of his race

Have no need for anger.

And though from a distant place

He can greet the world

With arms wide open .

 

 

 

 

Act Six: “Clark Kent and Friends”

 

[Having missed the bus again, Clark gets to school just after the bus has arrived. He is heading in the direction of Pete and Chloe as Pete talks about his friend and then starts signing to the tune “Eli’s coming.”]

 

Pete:

 

Here he comes now. [Chloe bites one side of her lip.] His pants couldn’t be any tighter, could they Chloe? Look at you blush! You had better harden your heart girl. You know that Clark Kent only has eyes for Lana Lang.

 

[Begins singing]

 

CK's coming, CK's coming

Girl, you'd better hide your heart

Your lovin' heart

CK's coming and the cards say...

 

A broken heart.

 

CK's coming, hide your heart girl

CK's coming, hide your heart girl

Girl, CK's coming you'd better hide

Girl, CK's coming you'd better hide

You'd better hide your heart, your heart

CK's coming, hide your heart

You'd better better hide your heart

 

CK's coming, better walk

Walk, but you'll never get away

No you'll never get away from the burn and the heartache

He’ll try talking to Lana yet today.

 

 

Chloe: And she’ll just say, “No.”

 

 

Pete:

 

CK's coming (she walked but she never got away)

CK's coming (she walked but she never got away)

CK's coming and he's coming to get Lana

I'm down on my knees

Oh broken heart

 

CK's coming, oh, CK's coming

I say, you know, you coming

Gotta get away

Get, get, get, get away

From the man

Coming now, whoa, whoa, whoa

 

Hide your broken heart

Hide your broken heart

Whoa, whoa, whoa, girl

CK's coming you'd better hide

Girl, CK's coming you'd better hide

You'd better hide your heart

CK's coming hide your heart

You'd better better hide your heart

CK's coming better walk

 

Cry, but he's never gonna hear

No he's never gonna hear and he ain't gonna follow

I cry to the corners of the square

Everywhere I go

 

CK's coming, CK's coming

CK's coming and he's coming to get Lana

I'm down on my knees

Oh baby won't you hide your broken heart

 

Hide it, hide it, hide it, hide it

Hide it, hide it, hide it, hide it....

 

CK's coming, CK's coming

 

Yeah, you'd better hide your heart.

 

 

 

[Camera pans to Lana by the door of the school surrounded by the other cheerleaders. “Lana’s Theme” sung to “Got Brass In Pocket” by the Pretenders]

 

Lana:

 

Got a rock, on pendant.

It’s Green, killed my parents.

Intention? To remember.

Gonna get your, get your, get your sympathy.

 

Got motion. Unrestrained emotion.

Been whining. Shoulder leaning.

No reason. Just seems so pleasing.

Gonna make you, make you, make you pity me.

 

Gonna use my arms.

Gonna use my legs.

Gonna use my style.

Gonna use my sidestep.

Gonna use my teardrops.

Gonna use my, my, my imagination.

 

‘Cause I’m gonna make you see

There’s nobody else here –

No one like me.

I’m special, so special.

I gotta have some of your sympathy.

Give it to me.

 

Got rhythm. I can’t miss a beat.

Got Whitney to mistreat.

A diversion. I’m pouting at Clark.

Gonna make Clark, make Clark,

Make Clark notice.

 

Gonna use my arms.

Gonna use my legs.

Gonna use my style.

Gonna use my sidestep.

Gonna use my teardrops.

Gonna use my, my, my imagination.

 

‘Cause I’m gonna make Clark see

There’s nobody else here –

No one like me.

I’m special, so special.

I gotta have some of his attention.

Give it to me!

 

‘Cause I’m gonna make him see

There’s nobody else here

(Except maybe Chloe).

I’m special, so special.

I gotta have some of Clark’s attention.

 

Give it to me!

 

[Chloe notices Clark noticing Lana and wanders aside, noticeable hurt. She start's her theme sung to "Somewhere" from West Side Story" -- the main theme of this musical if you hadn't noticed.]

 

Chloe:

 

There's a place for us,

Metropolis -- a place for us.

Exciting stories await us there

Writing for

A newspaper!

 

There's a time for us,

Some day a time for us,

Time together with time to spare,

Time to write, time to care,

Some day!

 

Somewhere.

We'll find a new way of living,

We'll find a way of forgiving

Somewhere . . .

 

There's a place for us,

A time and place for us.

I’ll go by “Lois” and dye my hair.

I'll hold his hand and I'll take him there!

Somehow,

Some day,

Somewhere!

 

 

[Soon Clark is surrounded by Chloe and Lana talking at him from both sides. Finally he is getting some attention, but he finds he has a choice to make. He begins sing to the Loving Spoonful song "Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind."]

 

 

Clark:

 

Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Pick up on one and leave the other one behind

It's not often easy, and not often kind

Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Did you ever have to finally decide?

Say yes to one and let the other one ride

There's so many changes, and tears you must hide

Did you ever have to finally decide?

Sometimes there's one with big deep eyes, cute as a bunny

With hair down to here, but a little bit whiney

And just when you think she's that one in the world

Your heart gets stolen by some nosey little girl

And then you know you better make up your mind

Pick up on one and leave the other one behind

It's not often easy, and not often kind

Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Sometimes you really dig a girl who likes reportin'

And then you get distracted by her dark haired cousin

When in walks her father and takes you in line

And says "Better go home, son, and make up your mind."

Then you bet you'd better finally decide!

And say yes to one and let the other one ride

There's so many secrets, and truths you must hide

Did you ever have to finally decide?

 

 

 

 

Act 7:  “A Bridge Too Narrow”

 

[Lex drives down the road following a logging truck. Clark stands on a bridge. Lex turns on the radio and begins to sing. To the tune “She’s Like The Wind” by Patrick Swayze from “Dirty Dancing.”]

 

 

I’m like the wind

Through the trees.

I drive very fast

In my Ferrari.

 

I want Lionel’s fortune

But he has another son.

He’s made me angry

But he doesn’t know what he’s done.

 

Feel that wind in my face

Driving fast and free.

Got shades on my eyes.

No one’s in my league.

Just to rule and control

Is all that I need.

I drive like the wind.

 

I look in the mirror

And all I see

Is a young bald man

With only a dream.

Am I fooling myself?

Is ruling a pain?

I’ll control the world

Or I’ll go insane.

 

Feel that wind in my face

Driving fast and free.

Got shades on my eyes.

No one’s in my league.

 

Just to rule and control

(Just to rule and control)

I drive like the wind.

(Just to rule and control)

 

Just to rule and control

(I drive like the wind)

Just to rule and control

(Just to rule and control)

I drive like the wind.

(Just to rule and control)

Just to rule and control

I drive like the wind

(Just to rule … drive like the wind)

(I’m like the wind)

(Just to rule … drive like the wind)

 

[Lex sees that the truck drop a log, swerves to miss it, runs into Clark and they go flying off the bridge and into the river. You know this part folks. Clark pulls Lex out. Yada Yada.]

 

 

[Clark give Lex mouth to mouth. He wakes. Spits out water. Coughs. Looks around and then into Clark’s eyes and begins to sing. To the tune “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen. Who said “How appropriate” ?  Quiet!]

 

 

 

Ooh, you made me live

Whatever this world can give to me

I’ll share, it’s you and me.

Ooh, I’ll give you half my money

Ooh, you made me live

 

Oh, you're the best friend

That I ever had

I hit you on the bridge just now

But you are fine!

And I just want to know

How you do what you do.

I really trust you

(Ooh) Oh, you're my best friend

 

Ooh, you made me live

 

Ooh, I've been driving around

But then I drove into to you (I ran right into you).

Some of the time

You've stood by me Clark.

I'm happy I’m here (happy I’m anywhere)

You're my best friend

 

Ooh, you made me live

Whenever this world is cruel to me

I got you, to help me forgive - oo oo ooh

Ooh, I’ll give you one tenth my money

Ooh, you made me live

 

Oh, you're the first one

When things turn out bad

You know I'll never be lonely

You're the only one

And I love the thing

I really love the things that you do

Oh, you're my best friend

 

Oh, ooh, you made me live

 

I'm happy I'm here (happy I’m anywhere)

You're my best friend

Oh, oh, you're my best friend

Ooh, you made me live

Oo oo ooh

You, you're my best friend!

 

 

 

 

[Johnathan come running down to see if Clark is OK. Once he is -assured that Clark is fine, he turns to Lex and sings. To the tune of “Simply Irresistable” by Robert Palmer.]

 

How can it be permissible

For you to drive is criminal, yeah yeah

Such stupidity is mythical.

But this is all too typical .

You’re just crazed of course, but you’re a powerful force

But you're obliged to conform to laws of physics, of course

You’re just a Luthor to me, but now I find you

 

Simply irresponsible.

Simply irresponsible.

 

Your Daddy, he’s so powerful, huh

He’s simply unavoidable.

The trend is irreversible.

The Luthors are invincible

Doesn’t matter who saw, you’ll just pay off the law

Then get the applause, I surrender because

You’re just a Luthor to me, but now I find you

 

Simply irresponsible.

Simply irresponsible.

 

(Simply irresponsible) You’re a crook, there's no tellin' where your money’s spent.

(Simply irresponsible) I give up, there's no way to fight I know.

You’re unavoidable, I'm backed against the wall.

You give me a pain like I never felt before.

You’ve broken promises, you’re breaking every law

You’re just a Luthor to me, but now I find you

Simply irresponsible.

You’re a crook, there's no tellin' where your money’s spent.

(Simply irresponsible) I give up, there's no way to fight I know.

Your methods are inscrutable

The proof is irrefutable, Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You’re so completely reprehensible, huh

But our lives are indivisible.

You’re just crazed of course, but you’re a powerful force

But you're obliged to conform to laws of physics, of course

You’re just a Luthor to me, but now I find you

 

Simply irresponsible.

Simply irresponsible.

 

You’re a crook, there's no tellin' where your money’s spent.

(Simply irresponsible) I give up, there's no way to fight I know.

You’re a crook, there's no tellin' where your money’s spent.

(Simply irresponsible) I give up, there's no way to fight I know.

Simply irresponsible.

 

 

STAY AWAY FROM MY SON, LEX!

 

 

 

 

Act 8:  “Finale”

 

[Sorry no climax, just a quick conclusion. Jonathan starts walking Clark up the Hill away from the river. He hears something.]

 

Martha [from off-camera]: Oh, Jon-a-than.

 

Clark: I think Mom's calling you Dad.

 

[Jonathan turns around. Rather than a river being there, there is a swimming pool.]

 

Jonathan: What the?! What happened to the river?

 

Martha: [from off-camera] Jon-a-than. O-ver here-er.

 

Jonathan: [Turns and sees Martha naked in the pool -- film clip from "Cat People."]

Martha, is that you! [close-up as Jon rubs his eyes. He looks again and see's Lex in the pool in a red wig straight out of "Sorority Boys."] Lex??!!

 

Lex [but with Martha's voice]: I think you forgot something.

[Jonathan hears a car skidding off the road and turns to see a car come screeching towards Clark and knocks him into the river. Yes, the river is back to being a river. Boss Hog jumps out of the car and comes up to Jonathan.]

 

Boss Hog: Don't you ever learn, Boy? Aren't you forgetting something here?

 

Jonathan: Who are you? [Clark comes wading up the shore, his shirt wet, transparent and clinging to him (FOLKS, I need some ratings here or I'll never get another shot at this!).]

 

Clark: Come on, Dad. Hint, hint. What's for supper tonight?

 

Jonathan: Martha's meatloaf? MARTHA'S MEATLOAF.

 

Clark: By jove, I think he's got it.

 

Jonathan: [Jonathan sits up in bead.] Whoa, what a dream! [He gets up, goes downstairs, opens the fridge, pulls out a plate with the meatloaf on it, goes to the trashcan, lifts the lid and tilts the plate so that the meatloaf slides into the can. He goes to a cabinet and gets out a big bottle of milk of magnesia and chugs it. A little hand tugs at the leg of his pajama bottoms. There stands little Clarkie in blue and red fuzzy pajamas with feet in them.] What do you want, Son?

 

Little Clarkie: Pop, can you make me a peanut butter and meatloaf sandwich please? And make one for my girlfriend Lana too!  [Jonathan looks over and standing next to Clarkie and holding his hand, there's a teenaged Lana in fuzzy pink pajamas with feet.]

 

Lana: Good evening Mr. Kent, I hope you don't mind me staying the night.

 

[Jonathan sits up in bed again with his eyes wide open. Roll credits.

While the credits roll based on the song “Wendy” by the –A.ssociation is the concluding song entitled … ]

 

 

“Clark Kent”

 

Who’s running down

The streets of Smallville

Faster than anybody can see?

Who’s looking through

The walls of the buildings?

Only Pete knows it’s Clark Kent.

 

Who’s making fires

Using only his eyeballs?

Who’s bending steel

As if it were tin?

Who’s making leaps

From building to building?

Only Pete knows it’s Clark Kent.

 

Well, I guess Dr. Swann knows too.

And Ma and Pa Kent sure do.

And maybe a crook or two.

[But don’t wreck the song --

Just play along.]

 

And Clark Kent has X-ray eyes

That flash when he cooks bad guys.

And someday he'll really fly

Above the clouds,

Above the clouds.

 

Who’s letting bad guys

Shoot him with bullets

Cause they bounce off

Without leaving a scratch?

Who speaks Kryptonese

As his second language?

Only Pete knows it’s Clark Kent.

 

Who’s walking in the

Door of the Talon

Going there after

Only one thing?

Who’s reaching out

To grab hold of Lana?

Everyone knows it’s Clark Kent.***

 

Who is the hottest

Male teen in Smallville

With a build

That no one can beat?

Who takes his shirt off

For any old reason?

Everyone knows it’s Clark Kent.

 

Who’s running down

The streets of Smallville

Faster than anybody can see?

Who’s looking through

The walls of the buildings?

Only Pete knows it’s Clark Kent.

 

 

 

*** This would say “Whitney” but he is

D E A D. And this isn’t his song.

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

But here is some additional music considered for the musical but that didn’t survive the final edit:

 

 

 

Chloe: [Sung to “Magic Man” by Heart]:

 

One bright day so long ago

When I was very young you know

A pretty boy came to me

Never seen eyes so blue

I could not run away

It seemed we'd seen each other in a dream

It seemed like he knew me

He looked right through me, yeah. [X-ray vision reference]

"Come to my fortress" he said with a smile

"You don't have to kiss me

Let's just talk awhile

But try to understand

Try to understand

Try, try, try to understand

I'm a super man."

 

When not writing for “The Torch”

We spent time on his front porch.

Never think of never

Let this spell last forever

He left for Metropolis

Not the boy that I first kissed

Daddy says he's a worried

Growing up in a hurry, yeah.

 

"Come on home, girl" Daddy cried on the phone

"Too soon to lose my baby yet. Just leave Clark Kent alone!"

"But try to understand, try to understand

Try, try, try to understand

He's a super man, Daddy.

He's a super man."

(He’s got those super hands.)

 

"Come to my fortress" he said with a smile

"I’d really like to talk to you 'bout Lana for a while!

But try to understand, try to understand

Try, try, try to understand

I am Superman!"

 

 

 

 

Lionel’s sings to Clark (to the tune “Brand New Key” by Melanie?):

 

You’ve got a space ship in your storm cellar,

I’ve got a Green K Key.

I want to learn Kryptonian

So I can be more like you, you see?

People don’t trust evil men,

So I was blind for sympathy.

You’ve got a space ship in your storm cellar,

I’ve got a Green K Key.

 

 

 

Also, Jor-El’s song to Kal (to Frankie Valley’s “Walk Like A Man”):

 

Walk like a man,

Talk like a man,

In the land of the Yellow Su-uh-uh-un.

 

If they find out who you are

You won’t go as far

As a lab rat my Son.

 

Walk like a man,

Talk like a man,

In the land of the Yellow Su-uh-uh-un.

 

You’ll be like a god

Not mad like General Zod

But walk like a man, my Son.

 

 

 

Music proposed for the sequel “Exile: The Musical” :

 

 

“You Can Call Me Kal”

 

[Sung to “You Can Call Me Al” by Paul Simon ]

 

Morgan Edge walks down the street,

He says, Why am I soft in the middle now?

Why am I soft in the middle?

The rest of my life is so hard!

I need a golden opportunity,

Or else a shot at redemption!

Don't want to end up a cartoon,

In a comic book graveyard .....

 

Lionel Luthor, Lex Luthor,

Dogs in the moonlight.

Far away, my little mob.

Mr. Lionel, father of Baldie,

Get these mutts away from me!

You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore ....

 

[Clark steps out of the shadows]

Let me be your bodyguard,

I can be your long lost pal!

I can call you Edgey,

And Edgey, when you call me,

You can call me Kal!

 

Clark walks down the street,

He says, Why am I short of attention?

Got a short little span of attention,

Red ring on and morals are gone!

Where's Lana and my family?

What if I die here?

Who'll be my role-model?

Now that my spaceship is ....

Gone ...... gone,

He ducked back down the alley,

To save some shapely, little bat-trained girl.

All along .... along ....

There were incidents and accidents,

There were hints and allegations .....

 

 

Let me be your bodyguard,

I can be your long lost pal!

I can call you Edgey,

And Edgey, when you call me,

You can call me Kal!

 

 

Clark walks down the street,

It's a street in a strange world.

Maybe it's planet Krypton.

Maybe it's his first time around.

He doesn't speak the language,

He holds no currency.

He is an alien man,

He is surrounded by the sound, sound ....

No cattle in this marketplace.

Mutant men and orphanages.

He looks around, around .....

He sees angels in the architecture,

Spinning in infinity,

He says, Amen! and Oh My Rao!

 

Let me be your bodyguard,

I can be your long lost pal!

I can call you Edgey,

And Edgey, when you call me,

You can call me Kal!

You can call me Kal ......