“The Steel Wall” [Rated PG-13]
Although she looked no different that she did in her fifteenth birthday, it was Clara Kent Luthor’s fiftieth birthday. She sat on the ground amidst her orchids pulling weeds and taking in their fragrance. She was enjoying the beauty of the day. For her, life was wonderful and she no longer carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She heard a loud booming sound behind her and didn’t turn. She knew that there was no one behind her that would have been hurt. She knew that property damage was easy to fix. She could hear a strong heartbeat behind her, but whoever it was would speak to her whenever they were ready, so she kept at her work. If the visitor meant trouble, she had every confidence that it would be something she could easily handle. Whatever it was, if it didn’t just go away, she would deal with it.
A harsh voice shouted at her, “Kryptonian female. My minions and I have searched for you for years. I am Darksied, God of this universe and I have chosen you as my queen. Our children will rule all that live from now through all eternity.”
Clara looked over her shoulder and said, “As flattered as I am by your proposal, I can’t accept. I have been married for 28 years and decided to stop having babies when my 24th son Ariel was born a couple years ago. I’d suggest that you search for a mate in some other solar system. This one is under my family’s protection.”
Two huge hands wrapped around Clara’s waist and raised her into the air. Darksied said, “When your God tells you what is to be, it is a sin to contradict Him.”
Clara said, “You are no god.” She pulled at his fingers but was unable to budge them. She raised her body temperature suddenly until her loose outer clothes turned to ash, but the thing held her fast. She stretched out her arm and swung it into Darksied’s neck with enough force to knock a head off of
Clara thought about the consequences of defeat for the first time in a long time and became frightened. She said, “Please help me.”
Darksied said, “Be prepared to be blessed.” He walked toward her and was repelled by a blue and red mist. Darksied tried a second time and again was pushed back. He shouted, “What kind of foul cloud is this?!”
The mist became less translucent and a clearer image emerged. Eight men and one woman in blue and red uniforms stood in a circle around Clara looking defiantly at the living rock mountain in front of them. William said, “Who are you to approach my Mother and what do you want?!”
Darksied said, “You fool. I am Darksied, God of this universe and your mother is My wife by My decree. She will bear my children and they will rule the universe by my side. Interfere further and you shall surely die.”
William said, “Sorry, my Father is generous but he wouldn’t agree to share his wife. And Mom has enough children. Wednesday night dinners are too crowded to include any children if they grow up to be your size. As to dying, many have tried, but my hide is tougher than you could possibly imagine.”
The woman stepped out and circled the group to approach Darksied. Clara shouted, “Samantha, be careful! I’d rather go with him than to have him hurt you!”
Samantha said, “Don’t sweat it Sis. You should know what I’m made of … you made me.”
Joel shouted, “Sam, get back, I’ll ….”
Samantha turned to Joel and shot him a stern look. She said, “You’ll do nothing! This one is all mine!” Samantha turned and smiled sweetly at Darksied. She threw back her long blond hair. Darksied studied her with great interest. She said, “Hey Rocky, my sister is married but I’m not. What does she have that I don’t?”
Darksied said, “Are you Kryptonian?”
Samantha said, “Let’s just say that I am a hybrid. I am the best of both worlds – Krypton and Earth.”
Darksied said, “Then I shall have you both!” Joel balled his fists and clenched his teeth.
Samantha said, “Hold it a minute Big Boy, I’m not going anywhere without a test drive first.” Without warning and as fast as a bolt of lightning, Samantha jumped onto Darksied. She wrapped her legs partway around his massive body and threw her arms around his neck. She put her lips on his stony mouth and began kissing him. She feasted on his vast energy. A few moments passed and Darksied fell to his knees and then onto his back.
Samantha climbed off Darksied and stood over him and wiped her mouth off with her hand. She said, “Honey, Honey, Honey … if you want to be with me, you HAVE to have more stamina than that!”
Seven men burst out laughing and kept laughing until the tears streamed down their cheeks. Alan cried out, “Aunt Sam, NOW I know while you’re still single!” Joel just stood there with an angry look on his face.
Darksied croaked, “Mother Box, Boom Tube. NOW!”
A hole in space opened up and Darksied, God of the universe, crawled through the grass and into it. A moment later, Darksied and the tube were gone.
Clara got up and said, “Thank you everybody, but why didn’t Lex come out to help.”
Larry said, “This was too easy for him to bother with now. He’s trying to do something much more difficult.”
Clara said, “What’s he doing?”
Larry said, “He’s trying to light all the candles on your birthday cake without setting off the sprinklers in the mansion.”
Clara said, “OH! Do you think you’re too old to get spanked?!”
Larry said, “No, I don’t, but up until 3 minutes ago I would have probably asked for you to have Aunt Sam do it for you.”
Samantha said, “Sister, should we tag team him?”
Clara said, “Spank him if you want, Sam, I’m going in for cake and to see Lex about getting MY birthday spanking.”
Seven men vanished hoping the image in their head would soon fade. Joel sat heavily on the ground and stared at Samantha. Samantha stayed with her big sister and smelled the orchids before walking her back to her birthday party. They motioned for Joel to follow but he just sat on the ground with a tear in his eye as he watched them walk away. When they were back inside the mansion, Joel muttered, “Sam, I never want to see you kissing another man again!”