"Stay Tuned" (Marriage Year One)
[Rated G]

Lex’s receptionist buzzed Lex and said, “Martha Kent for you on line four, Sir.”

Lex said, “Thanks Mary.” He punched a button and said, Hi Mom, what’s up?”

Martha said, I’m just checking in. Is Clara in the office with you today … or in one of her labs?”

Lex said, “No, she found something better to do.”

Martha said, “I was a little worried. I heard on TV that there have been no Super Woman sightings in over two weeks … and then I realized that I hadn’t heard from her in that long. We usually talk at least three or four times a day. I didn’t think anything about it when I couldn’t reach her by phone. I thought we were just missing each other.”

Lex said, “Well, Clara is in another world right now.”

Martha said, “Oh, she normally tells me when she goes off to Mars … and she usually only goes if you go with her. You’re not fighting are you?”

Lex said, “We’re not fighting, but we’re not talking either. And she’s not on Mars, she’s in TV Land.”

Martha said, “Where?”

Lex said, “She’s upstairs watching TV. I’m buying all the Orrville Redenbacher stock I can. She’s on the couch twenty-four seven with Larry. She’s either nursing Larry or eating popcorn but, whatever she does, she doesn’t take her eyes off the TV. I think that she is having her second … make that her FIRST childhood.”

Martha said, “You mean “listening” to TV don’t you? She sees little dots instead of images when she watches TV … and she if she goes to a movie all she sees are a series of still images and the flash caused by the shutter between images. Watching TV and going to a movie are the only things I know of outside of political speeches and kryptonite that gives her a headache.”

Lex said, “It’s my fault. I gave her an advanced prototype television with a refresh rate that’s unbelievable. It applies a lot of the technology that she developed. It is attached to a super computer that reprocesses old video and film images by generating more images to fill in the gaps between the existing images. It blends them into an image that is about as smooth as Clara is capable of seeing. Clara is seeing television like normal people for the first time in her life … and she’s hooked. She is watching the programs at 30 times normal viewing speed … and sometimes even watches multiple shows at once using picture in picture and closed captioning!”

Martha said, “I’m glad she can enjoy television now, but it sounds like she is getting too carried away with it.”

Lex said, “You know Clara, she puts herself fully into everything she does.”

Martha said, “Her research is too valuable for her to stop it just to watch … what is she watching?”

Lex said, “Everything: “Sesame Street,” “All in the Family,” “Your Show of Shows,” “Gone With The Wind,” “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “To Kill a Mockingbird,” “Twilight Zone,” “Pee Wee’s Playhouse,” etcetera, etcetera …. “

Martha said, “I’d better come see her.”

Lex said, “Well, you had better dress up like Lucy Ricardo or she won’t even know that you are in the room. And don’t try to wait for a commercial, most of them are edited out and she finds the commercials that aren’t as interesting as the rest of what she is watching.”

[Don’t worry folks, Clara burned out on watching TV after nine weeks and has strictly limited her viewing since then. Lex filled in for Super Woman by donning a suit that is black from head to foot with gloves, boots and a black face mask that doesn’t have eye holes or show any skin. He became known as Super Man. Overall, the experience improved Lex and Clara’s marriage because he found out what it is like to patrol the world and look for ways to make human like flow a little easier. Clara came to understand more of the television/movie references in Lex’s jokes and came to appreciate him even more.]

The End