“Learning Process”
[Rated PG]
In a portion of the story, “The Farmer Girl from Hell,” Martha had to sit Clara down and explain the facts of life to Clara. Not the scientific, how it works facts, but the emotional, psychological, social chaos that form the confusing ritualistic mating practices that occur day to day on planet Earth. I dared not include the conversation in the story because most of it involves stuff my Mother has yet to explain to me to my satisfaction. But for the curious among you, I have documented a fragment of the dialog.
Clara said, “But Mom, sex is supposed to be about creating a new human being, not about giving your body a physically induced high.”
Martha said, “It’s for both.”
Clara asked, “But why are the two combined?”
Martha said, “I think God wanted to encourage people to reproduce.”
Clara said, “Well, there are too many people on this planet now so why doesn’t God just stop making sex feel good and make … and make … learning and thinking as stimulating as sex is to people?”
Martha said, “I don’t know why God does what he does.”
Clara said, “Maybe that’s why more people are born gay these days … to slow down population growth. Do you think God wants more of us to be gay now that there are too many people?”
Martha said, “I think that … I … think … I don’t know.”
Clara asked, “Do you think that’s why Lana felt me up while I was sleeping that time? Do you think she treats me badly because she really desires me and is frustrated about it?”
Martha said, “I don’t think so … but … I don’t know.”
Clara said, “And speaking of the way our minds work, why do you think our brains encourage us to eat food that is bad for us by making it taste good to us?”
Martha said, “I don’t know.”
Clara asked, “And why do we get hungry and eat too much when we are already over weight and there is no scarcity of food available to us?”
Martha said, “I don’t know.”
Clara asked, “And why do men that are nice and gentle look so ugly to Earth girls and bad men look so dang irresistible to them?”
Martha said, “I don’t think that’s true … but I don’t know.”
Clara asked, “And why, if women have a lot of fat on their chest are they so irresistible to Earth men but if they have any on their waist line they aren’t?”
Martha said, “I don’t know.”
Clara said, “Mom, I’m sorry for bugging you with all the questions.”
Martha said, “That’s okay, Dear. If you don’t ask questions, how do you expect to learn anything?”
Clara said, “I don’t know.”
THE END