“Alone” [Rated PG]
1======
Clara was taking her time getting to school. She was running out of things to
day dream about while the teachers rattled on and on about things she already
knew. She somehow wondered how she would make it through the day if she didn’t
have her visits with Lex to look forward to. At least he didn’t treat her like
a child … like her teachers did. She felt as if her life was on hold. It was
frustrating to her because she knew she had better things to be doing instead of
being held captive in a classroom.
Her thoughts were interrupted by something that sounded like a gunshot. Her
head jerked in the direction of the sound and she began searching out the
source. She saw a school bus full of elementary school children. It was on
The bus turned parallel to the stream and tipped over. The current caught it
and it began floating downstream on its side. Clara splashed into the river and
swam up to the bus. She pushed it to the shore and tipped it back up on its
wheels. Many of the bus’s windows were missing and the emergency door was wide
open. Clara counted the children inside the bus and compared it to the head
count she had taken on her way to help before the bus went off the road. Four
children were missing. She raced down the river bank looking for the children
that had been carried away by the current. She pulled three of them from the
river and returned them to the bus. She found the fourth, a little girl,
tangled in a branch underneath the water. The girl wasn’t breathing. She freed
the girl and resuscitated her as she ran her back to the bus. She closed the
doors and propped them shut so none of the children would wander off before the
bus driver regained consciousness.
Clara ran home and called the Sheriff’s office to report the accident. Martha
looked at what remained of Clara’s outfit and said, “What happened to you this
time?”
Clara said, “There was a bus accident. DARN IT! Why can’t accidents happen at
more convenient times! Now I’m late for school. It’s my third time this month!
I’ve got to go! Clara raced out of the house … then she ran back in and went
upstairs. Five seconds later, she came back downstairs in different clothes and
left again. Then she raced back inside. Martha felt a kiss on her cheek and
heard the refrigerator door open and close but saw no one as Clara came and
left.
2======
Clara sat outside the principal’s office. This was becoming an all too familiar
experience for her. She would stop to help someone then fail a test by missing
class … or she would leave school without permission and return without an
explanation. Then she would be lectured about punctuality and responsibility by
the principal. She would always have to apologize for being tardy and promise
to try to be a more responsible person in the future.
The principal came to the door and motioned for Clara to come into his office.
Clara sat down and listened to him without making eye contact. He said, “Clara,
what IS your problem? You seem to understand the course work and you do well on
tests … if you show up to take them. But you don’t participate in class and you
don’t pay attention to your teachers. I have boxes full of notebooks that teachers
have confiscated from you for scribbling in them instead of focusing on the
teacher’s lesson – notebooks filled with sketches, equations, schematics and
hieroglyphics. I’ve gotten reports that you are even ignoring the assignments
entirely and turning in work no one asked you to do. You are late to school on
a regular basis. You make no attempt to get along with your classmates. I hear
that you sleep with any guy in a football uniform. If that is true, you’ve got
a serious problem. If it’s not true, then you are alienating enough of your
classmates to make them paint a target on you and keep the nasty rumors
circulating. We’ve talked again and again but the situation doesn’t ever change
for the better … and, frankly, I don’t like wasting my time. You know, your
Mother is one classy lady but, for some unknown reason, you couldn’t dress
worse if you came to school wearing a burlap sack. How do you expect anyone to
respect you if you don’t respect yourself? Personally, I can’t decide whether
you have no pride at all or if you think you are better than everyone else in
the human race. You act like Smallville High is the last place on Earth that
you want to be. What was SO damned important that you couldn’t get to school
this time? A cat up a tree? A little old lady needing help across the street?
Were you off trying to end world hunger or doing something else to save the
world? Enlighten me!”
Clara said, “I saw a bus go off the road and I needed to go back home and
report it.”
The principal said, “Buses have radios, Clara. It’s the bus driver’s job to
take care of his bus and your job to be here on time. No one appreciates you
trying to do someone else’s job for them. It’s just a flimsy excuse to not be
here where you belong. Say something HONEST to me for a change! Don’t pretend
you’re sorry only to be late again tomorrow for little or no reason. Admit it.
You just don’t want to be here, DO YOU?!”
Clara’s head snapped up and, for the first time, she looked the principal
straight in the eye. She said, “NO, I DON’T!”
The principal looked at her for a few seconds then sat down and pulled a form
from his file drawer. He totally ignored Clara and filled out the form. Then he
looked up and handed it to Clara saying, “This should make you happy. You won’t
need to come back here for two weeks. You’re suspended. Take that form to the
front desk.”
Clara stormed out of the principal’s office. She handed the form to a woman at
the front desk. As she stood there, the woman picked up the phone and dialed
it. While giving Clara a nasty stare, she said, “Yes. Mrs. Kent? This is the
office of the Smallville High School. It is my job to call you to let you know
that your daughter Clara has been suspended ….” Clara lowered her head and
walked briskly out of the office and out of the building. She didn’t know what
to do or where to go. She just kept walking faster and faster. She muttered to
herself, “I’m such an idiot! No good deed goes unpunished. I’ve known that
since Mrs. Lang spanked me when I was seven years old and I STILL can’t mind my
own damned business! Now I’m going to get a terrible report card and I’ll
never, ever be able to get into a decent college! I try to help other people …
WHO EVER EVEN TRIES TO HELP ME!” Clara lowered her head more and started to
run. She didn’t stop until she was at LaSalle State Park. She began walking
aimlessly through the woods. Eventually she came to a small clearing
surrounding a deep crater filled with small, strangely mutated plants. She
walked up to the edge of the crater and went to kick a stone into it. Her knees
buckled and she fell onto the sharply sloping ground and rolled to the bottom.
She tried to get up, but she felt sick and dizzy. She realized that a large
meteor rock must have made the crater. She tried to crawl away, but collapsed
from the pain.
Clara realized that no one knew where she was and that she was too deep into
the woods for it to be likely that anyone would find her anytime soon. She had
never imagined how she would die. She even had some reason to believe that she
might be immortal. Now she cursed herself for her own stupidity. She couldn’t
imagine a more stupid way for her life to end. She was scared that her body
would never be found and that her parents and Lex would never know what had
happened to her. Would they watch and wait for years hoping that she would
return? She tried to remember the last words she said to Lex and her Mother and
Father, but she couldn’t concentrate. She hoped that she hadn’t been impatient
or nasty on the last moment she spent with them. She hoped that they knew how
much she loved them. She always told her parents how much they meant to her …
but tried to never give Lex the slightest clue how desperately she cared for
him.
Clara hated dying alone, but decided that she had always been alone. No one on
Earth was like her. No one could help her do what was expected of her. It would
never be possible for anyone to understand how lonely she was. She thought that
maybe this was a way for the universe to correct a mistake. She had never belonged
on Earth. Her place was with her people. Now it was time for her to rejoin
them. She hoped her soul could find the place where the other Kryptonians had
gone so that she wouldn’t be as lonely in death as she had been in life. She
managed to look down at her hand. It was pale green. She felt her breathing
grow shallow. Her heart beat slowed. She smiled for no reason and closed her
eyes. Her body went limp.
3======
Clara opened her eyes and saw someone who looked like enough like herself to
make her think that someone had swapped bodies with her again … or that Tina
Greer had returned. But something wasn’t right. The other Clara’s hair was
different … and the way she smiled … it seemed so familiar but from a long time
ago. She turned her head and there was a man sitting there as well. He had more
of a knowing smirk on his face. Clara cried out, “Father! Mother! You’re
alive!”
Jor-El said, “No, we’re not.”
Clara said, “Then I’m dead?”
Jor-El answered, “Not yet.”
Clara asked, “Why are you here?
Jor-El said, “We’re always here. You are very important to us, Kayla. No matter
what you think, you are never alone.”
Clara asked, “Even when I’m in the shower?”
Jor-El said, “You have nothing to be ashamed about in that regard. You are a
fine specimen even by Kryptonian standards. How do you say it? A real “hottie.”
Besides, if you can put on a show for that boy, Ryan, you shouldn’t mind
allowing the ones who contributed some DNA to make you to admire the fruits of
their labor.”
Clara said, “I didn’t know he was watching me!”
Jor-El said, “Maybe it’s time you grew out of your little phobia and started
shutting the bath room door.”
Clara said, “Well considering I’m about to die, it’s a little late for you to
be coming back into my life and start where you left off – telling me every
move to make and when to make it.”
Jor-El said, “Do as you please. The time for me to impart discipline is long
since past. We are only here to give you strength when you need it.”
Clara said, “Yeah, right! You NEVER let me decide anything. I was your little
marionette. I always thought you loved me until I met Jonathan Kent. I was just
a slave to you, but I am his daughter. He loves me. You never did!”
Jor-El said, “Oh, how I envy that man! It is bittersweet to be a man and have a
daughter on Krypton. All you want to do is love her and make her happy …
anything to hear the magical ripple of her laughter. But raising a daughter
without stern discipline would lead to ruin. Kryptonian women have a fierce
nature that must be tamed early or no good can come of their lives. Fathers who
failed in their duties had to watch their daughters get banished to an island
of warring women who fought endlessly for dominance … and for the love of
causing misery to others. I had to be a man of steel … a dictator … and
unquestioned authority. I had to make you obey me in all things whether my
judgment was sound or not … or else you would have been lost. Now my harsh,
critical voice is part of you, my darling Kayla, and will guide and protect you
from your worst enemy – your own animal nature. My work was done by the time we
all got on that spaceship together. I had looked forward to being the Father I
always wanted to be once we arrived at our new home. Jonathan Kent got to be the
Father that I was never free to be.”
Clara said, “I always wanted to someday become someone that you could love and
be proud of.”
Jor-El said, “I loved you from the instant you were conceived … and still do
and always will. And there are no words adequate in any language we know to
convey how proud I am of you.”
Clara asked, “Will we always be together now?”
Jor-El said, “Yes, just as we always have been.”
Clara asked, “Can I touch you?”
Jor-El said, “Sadly, no. Hold Jonathan Kent and think of me.”
Clara said, “I can’t hold him. I’m as good as dead.”
Jor-El said, “I have never known you to give up so easily.”
Clara said, “I can’t do anything about it! I’m too weak to move. I’m all alone
here. Like always, there’s no one around to help me when I really need it.”
Jor-El said, “Self-pity too? Alura, this IS our daughter isn’t it? I guess
everyone falls into the trap of self-pity once in a while. It’s amazing that,
despite the great eyesight you have on this world, how little you see and appreciate
it when people help you. Maybe you’ll see things clearer when you are back home
with the Kents … or when you are looking into your mate’s eyes again.”
Clara said, “I don’t have a mate! And there’s no way I’m getting out of this
situation.”
Jor-El said, “Deny the bond if you like, but you have already been paired and
you have little choice left to you. As to dying, you can’t leave your current
plane of existence until your work is complete. Maybe I will see you again when
your work is done … perhaps in a thousand years or two.”
Clara said, “Father, I told you. I’m going to die. I can’t do anything!”
Jor-El said, “You can hope. You can pray. You can have faith. You are never
alone. There are many who watch over you. There are many people who don’t know
you that care about you. Right now, a woman is crying and praying blessing
after blessing upon you for the life of her daughter. At times you may feel
that the work you do, you do unassisted. In truth, you had help. You give too
little credit to the universe and your ancestors, to your Mother and myself, to
the Kents and the one that was chosen to be with you. The next time you think
that you are alone, I will give you a sign. Just look around and you will know
that your family is behind you. Jor-El gave her a wicked smile and then
laughed. He blew Clara a kiss.”
Alura said, “My Baby, be happy! Take time to love and be loved. Drink in all
that life has to offer to you. I am with you always.”
Clara watched her Mother fade from sight. She turned and Jor-El was gone too.
She screamed, “NO! NOT AGAIN! DON’T LEAVE ME AGAIN!”
4======
Clara’s eyes opened. She was leaning against a big tree twenty five feet away
from the edge of the crater. She had a red blanket wrapped around her and there
was a large camp fire burning in front of her. She stood up and looked around.
No one was there. She dropped the blanket and carefully walked to the edge of
the crater. She felt sick again but was careful not to fall. In the moonlight,
she saw the impression in the vegetation where she had been laying. She also
saw a pair of boot tracks leading into the crater and a deeper set of tracks
leading back out towards the spot where she now stood. She backed away from the
crater and used her vision powers to look all around and far into the distance.
She couldn’t see anyone. Somehow, she didn’t feel like she was alone despite
the evidence of her own eyes. She called out, “Hello, is anyone there?” No one
answered. She looked at the fire and saw that the blanket had fallen into it,
but it wasn’t burning. She smothered the fire with it. The cloth still didn’t
burn or char. She shook it out and wrapped it around herself and began walking
home.
5======
Clara found Jonathan asleep on the front porch swing. She knelt down next to
him and ran a hand through his blond hair. She leaned close and kissed the side
of his face. She felt his arms wrap around her and she relaxed into his
embrace. He whispered in her ear, “Clara, Oh, Clara. We worry about you so.”
Clara said, “I’m sorry, Daddy. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m
indestructible.”
Jonathan said, “I’ll worry just the same. It’s in the job description. Clara,
your Mother and I don’t care if you get straight F’s in school. We know who you
are and no grading scale will ever change what we think of you. Don’t ever be
afraid to come home. Do you understand me?”
Clara said, “Yes, Daddy. I do. I love you Daddy.”
Jon said, “You and your Mother are everything to me.”
Clara said, “I know … I know.”
Martha stuck her head out the front door and asked, “Clara, are you hungry?”
Clara said, “Yes, Mom.”
Martha said, “Well go upstairs and get your shower. I’ll warm you up a plate.”
Clara went upstairs and took off her clothes. She went to step into the tub and
thought about what Jor-El had said. She looked around sheepishly to make sure
no one was watching her and caught sight of herself in the mirror. Clara rubbed
herself just over her right butt cheek to see if it would come off. It didn’t.
Clara had a one inch high tattoo of a diamond that hadn’t been there before.
6======
Clara came down to the kitchen table in her fuzzy blue cotton pajamas. She sat
down at her spot at the table. Martha put a steaming plate in front of her and
said, “Eat up then off to bed with you. You have a big day at school tomorrow.”
Clara said, “Mom, I heard them call you. You know I got suspended. I’m not
allowed to go anywhere near the school for two weeks.”
Martha said, “That shows you don’t know everything. When I told your Dad about the
phone call, his face turned bright red. He burned rubber getting out of here.
He raised bloody hell with the principal and told him that you were the
smartest student to ever walk the halls of Smallville High School. He told them
that state regulations made it their responsibility to provide a curriculum
challenging enough to allow bright student to excel and reach their potential.
He told them that your boredom was their problem to deal with, not something to
punish you for. Jon wouldn’t leave the principal’s office or let him attend to
any other business until he had arranged for you to take a battery of aptitude
tests tomorrow. Your Dad and I have had you hide too much of yourself for too
long. Tomorrow is your day to shine. Don’t hold back. Well, don’t do any manual
dexterity tests at super-human speed. You know what I mean. Knock their socks
off. We’re tired of making you swallow their attitude towards you. You don’t
deserve the way you’ve been treated. To HELL with them!”
Clara said, “Thanks Mom. You don’t know how much it means to me to know that I
have you and Dad on my side – that I’m not alone.”
Martha said, “You’re never alone, Honey.” She pointed to the hallway. There was
a pretty, framed poster that had hung there as long as Clara remembered. She
had come to see it only as a decoration to brighten an empty wall, but now she
focused her eyes and re-read the words for the first time in years. Tonight,
those words had more meaning for her than they ever had before.
7======
“Footsteps In The Sand”
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his
life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Margaret Powers, 1964
THE END